I admit it. I am stuck.
Stuck fast, frozen solid, rooted down and paralyzed by my own silly fears of the unknown, of failure and even, of success. Do you all know this feeling? It sounds so very silly and childish but, nonetheless, is supremely powerful. I mean really! Creating ‘denise balyoz photography’, launching a blog, and offering my images for sale, are all part of MY dream. What is taking me so long??
For five months, I have been writing to you about the nature of inspiration, and the living of our dreams. I’ve encouraged, commented, mused and hoorayed for the dreams that make us special. And you all have encouraged, commented, mused and hoorayed for me as I have developed mine.
Ever so slowly, I have been chug, chug, chugging along, building a blog template, finding a logo, signing up for a hosting platform, registering on Etsy, researching pricing, and shipping, calibrating monitors, heck, buying an iMac!, printing cards, taking photos, and even speaking to an accountant about the tax implications of selling my work. (yuck!)
But the closer I got to making this real, the chug, chug, chugging turned into a squealing creak, a dry cough and a dying splutter until here I sit, in January, stuck in the muck.
As dire as it sounds, this stuck-edness isn’t all that bad. I’ve gotten so much done: My home office is clean and reorganized. My wardrobe has been culled. Bags of clothes have gone to charity. My kitchen spice drawer is sorted and arranged alphabetically. (No, I’m not anal, I just love to cook and have more than the usual amount of spice jars.) Finally, my work is framed and up on my walls. Christmas cards went out BEFORE the relevant holiday for the first time in a decade. And, delightfully, a new puppy has joined our little clan.
Procrastination? Excuses? Unnecessary busy-ness? Perhaps, yes, of the most consummate type.
But perhaps, also, no.
This is LIFE LIVING. Our dreams are responsible for feeding our lives. And our lives are core to nourishing our dreams. My dream has just served to help my life get a little more straightened, organized, sorted and housebroken. Now it is time for my life to start the creative, artistic part of my dream. It is time to START. (Do check out Kim’s ‘Get Out of Your Own Way’ post on her Cafe...it is fabulously inspiring and going up on my new dream board now!)
A few days ago, a good friend said to me, ‘Whatever it is you want, book it in your diary. The act of writing things down is essential to manifesting for your goals. If you want clients to book, put your appointment times down in ink.’ She does this and rarely have I seen her fazed by an empty appointment book or without the clients she needs...
In that light, and even though my blog is not yet ready, it will launch on 7 February. I’m scared and overwhelmed and a bit lost, but here goes...Let’s get started.