|A finished painting that I abandoned in the ugly stage for about 6 months titled,|
I am changed because of you.
I wrote a post over on my blog last night about a very large painting that I am currently working on. There are layers upon layers of paper and paint.
I've been a little stuck for the past couple of days because the painting is going through an ugly phase that feels like it is lasting too long and I am starting to loose my confidence. But all of my artwork goes through that stage and most turn out exactly the way they should and I am happy with them. Some need to be painted over- a bright new beginning ...No matter what happens, it's always all good.
This got me thinking this morning as I am ready to dive back into the painting again, and I'm feeling afraid and wanting to quit, that this art process I go through each time, is a metaphor for my beautifully messy life.
I am no stranger to therapy. My husband and I, both in our second marriages, decided to start this marriage in therapy. We go as a way to be kind to ourselves, because we know good marriages take both love and hard work. We are committed to doing our own work as part of our spiritual growth and partnership. Two times a month we sit, in a safe, sacred space, and feel the not so pretty parts and celebrate the progress we make. Sometimes we need to toss things and start over, other times just working through it gets us to the other side where we breathe deeper and feel abundantly grateful.
But life is always layers and layers of love, beauty, peace, fear, anxiety, happiness.
I've decided that I am going to meet the ugly phase of my very large painting with love today.
I think it just needs a little love to make it through.