Nov 16, 2010

meeting the ugly parts with love

A finished painting that I abandoned in the ugly stage for about 6 months titled,
I am changed because of you
I wrote a post over on my blog last night about a very large painting that I am currently working on.  There are layers upon layers of paper and paint.  

I've been a little stuck for the past couple of days because the painting is going through an ugly phase that feels like it is lasting too long and I am starting to loose my confidence.  But all of my artwork goes through that stage and most turn out exactly the way they should and I am happy with them.  Some need to be painted over- a bright new beginning ...No matter what happens, it's always all good.  

This got me thinking this morning as I am ready to dive back into the painting again, and I'm feeling afraid and wanting to quit, that this art process I go through each time, is a metaphor for my beautifully messy life.  

I am no stranger to therapy.  My husband and I, both in our second marriages, decided to start this marriage in therapy.  We go as a way to be kind to ourselves, because we know good marriages take both love and hard work.  We are committed to doing our own work as part of our spiritual growth and partnership.  Two times a month we sit, in a safe, sacred space, and feel the not so pretty parts and celebrate the progress we make.  Sometimes we need to toss things and start over, other times just working through it gets us to the other side where we breathe deeper and feel abundantly grateful.  

But life is always layers and layers of love, beauty, peace, fear, anxiety, happiness. 

I've decided that I am going to meet the ugly phase of my very large painting with love today.  
I think it just needs a little love to make it through. 


Jamie said...

Hmm, now I'm wondering how many times I've stopped working towards some goal in life because I got stuck in the ugly phase - great post - full of things to think about

linda said...

Great post and I think you are exactly right... it's just a dip, not a dead end per Seth Godin's words :)

Marcie said...

This is so beautifully penned. We could all learn a lesson from this and how to love the 'ugly'. Because out of that comes true beauty and art. Love your painting!

Julia said...

Lori, this gave me goosebumps--so much richness here & truth. When we take the judgment out, it all just IS and IS-ness is really quite beautiful.

I've been thinking so much about embracing the messy with the beautiful. And then you so perfectly put my thoughts into words:

"this art process I go through each time, is a metaphor for my beautifully messy life."

What if we met all of the "ugly phases" with love? Ahh...I'm thinking that would be a beautiful thing.

I adore this sweet new painting of yours, Lori...and the one who loved it through all its phases.

Rosie said...

A great post that really got me thinking! Thanks for that!

ELK said...

lori ..layers are not always bad ..i am happy that you are meeting that ugly phase head on with love...

dbalyoz said...

fabulous post. life is made up of so many layers. and they all add up to beautiful. :) thanks...denise

Kolleen said...

i feel we all need just a smidge of love to make it through....just like your BEAUTIFUL painting.

i love you and am so grateful to have you for my friend.

i love your honesty and vulnerability in this post.


kelly@thebluemuse said...

Love this, yes, there are always ugly parts to deal with, it is always layers and layers, every day. Beautiful.